Disaster, zombies eating my brain, and Camino dreams.

I would like to send my best wishes to those on the East Coast and Caribbean recovering from the storms last week. I was planning to be in NYC last week, although those plans quickly changed when the storm came roaring up from the Caribbean. I wish for the speedy recovery for everyone involved.

There are things you'll never see from the main road of life.

Flaming Viking Ships of DOOM!

"I swear officer, it isn't what you think it is!"

Oi! What am I thinking about not posting for several weeks! I can't believe it's been this long! Alright, I guess I can believe it's been this long, it has been in obscene couple of weeks for the sarcastically inclined among us. First off I'm still elbow deep in repairing the damage from the burst pipe in the wall. If you've ever worked with drywall, you know two things strait off the bat: 1) no matter how hard you work to keep the drywall dust from spreading, it WILL invest every orifice, and 2) walking into the coffee shop with white powder on your nose makes the cops VERY suspicious to what you've been sticking your nose into.

"Yes, I'd like a little off the top. . .wait, you aren't my normal barber!"

Granted, if my fun stopped there you'd all be concerned. Oh no, we can't just end the week with repairs yet to be completed, we need to add more fun into the mix. Like my car deciding to commit seppuku via transmission while going 70 mph. NOT a fun way to spend my Sunday afternoon when you show up 3.5 hour late to a dinner with family from out of town.


Even less fun when you can't run away and you can't piss anyone off by being truthful.

Well it wouldn't have been so bad with the Grey Devil (my lovely '92 Oldsmobile Cutlass Sierra SL), if it was only the hose we thought had just rotted through. Unfortunately as the mechanic explained to me, what was left of the dust that my transmission became could have fit into the low cut socks I was wearing that day. It was trashed. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars!

Seriously, there was going to be no collection of money unless I shelled out $1,900 for a new transmission  which wasn't going to happen on a twenty year old car, no matter how much I loved driving nearly a ton worth of steel.

I call BS that I couldn't give my car the funeral it deserved.
I also call shenanigans that I didn't get to do this to people
who deserve it.

So with a sad heart I had to give my car a final farewell. UNFORTUNATELY my family didn't like the idea of giving the Grey Devil a viking funeral. I was only going to load it onto my parents' old speed boat, the Titanic II, tie up my enemies, douse it in fuel, push it into the nearby pond in the farm field behind my parents' home, light it up with a road flare, and sit on shore drinking beers. But NOOOOOO, I'm not allowed to play with that much fire.

Or burn my parents' boat.

And they didn't want to know why I had a list. . .

Or why I had a viking helmet at home.

But that's beyond the point! That, and like the fez, cheesy viking helmets are cool! By Thor, cheesy viking helmets are the next fashion accessory must have of the fall season! You don't like how someone is looking at your arse? Well impale them on your helm!

With that said, I'm several weeks behind on a slew of projects, including sleep and editing the newest book. Did I mention after I broke down I was stuck at mi mama y papa's casa? Oh yes, yes I was. Without any of my research, files, etc. Heck, I had to break down and buy new clothing, medication, and bathroom supplies since I was well over a hundred miles away from my home. I might enjoy hiking for weeks on end with a backpack, but that's a planned level of grunge that I expected to live with, not the trapped in suburbia/country without even a pair of clean socks.

Well I am a proud owner of a 2005 Malibu which I've lovingly named Barbie, made it back home, and all in all wonder how the hell I'm going to get back on track after all of this fun! Oh wait, by not sleeping!

Ok, and the real reason most of you show up, food time. Well since I was gone for so long I haven't gotten to play with many recipes, so I'm going to go back to a time honored recipe that EVERYONE should know how to make on these chilly Autumn days.

Ham and Bean Soup

Tools:
4-5 Quart Slowcooker
Spoon
Measuring Cup
Knife and Cutting Board

Ingredients:
1 lb bag of dried navy beans
1 lb of diced up ham or 1.5 lbs of smoked ham hocks.
1 tablespoon chopped garlic
1 tablespoon black pepper
1 tablespoon salt
Water

1 large onion, diced
3 stalks of celery, diced
3 carrots, diced
-or-
10 ounce bag of pre-cut, frozen mireqoix

As a classic Autumn dish, you can't get much better than a classic pot of slow cooked ham and bean soup. I'll make this soup the evening before I want it, and then before I leave for work the next morning I'll turn the crockpot onto low, and leave it alone all day long.

How easy is this dish? Take all of the ingredients, and put them into the pot. Add water until about an inch from the top of the crockpot. Cover, and leave it alone. That's it! The most complicated part of this entire meal is making the cornbread (which I consider essential to any bowl of ham and bean soup), and I honestly just make it from a box of instant mix. You can also top the soup with a variety of ingredients, including diced onions, oyster crackers, and hot sauce; those are the most common toppings from my experience, although I'm sure every family has their own variation.

Well I've played long enough online, I should get back to work. Until next time!

Bien Camino!

First Drafts and Granny Style Veggie Soup

The sequel to this fantastic novel is almost done.
Also you can buy this one on Amazon. . . ;-)

Well the good news is that nearly 10,000 words later I've finished the first draft of The Diary's Zombie. Bad news is that I've already erased two and a half chapters because I'm a cranky diva author who wasn't happy with what he wrote. But technically, the first draft is done and I'm to the hard work of editing my new novel!

Chili!

The weather doesn't look like this anymore.
And Indiana doesn't look like this either. . .
but that's beyond the point.

If you are just waking up and looking outside, you realize that there might be something different about North America right now: we have descended into that period of time known as Autumn. This of course means fantastic rain showers, changing of the leaves, and me complaining that I'll never feel warm again (which only gets worse when the winter kicks in, but lets face it, I've abused my body so much that it doesn't know what the heck is going on anymore). It's the time for video games. It's the time for memories. But at the bare minimum it's time for chili.

Autumn Winds

You see this desert landscape in Egypt? I like it! Why?
Because it's warm!!!
(And I guess I should tell you this is Tel el Armarna)

Autumn has finally come, the brisk winds, the slightly chilly days, the fact that even with wool socks my toes feel cold. I'm so not ready for this after a summer of glorious heat! The only thing that makes this time of year somewhat bearable for myself is the excuse to make my favorite Autumn foods: my homemade chili, baked potatoes dishes galore, hearty soups and stews, and most importantly, one pot meals.

Ego

How many statues of Ramesses does he have?

Growing up we could say I had a bit of an ego problem (or as I pointed out, 9 times out of 10 it was caused by a combination of being a Scorpio and descended from Irish and German ancestry). But my ego has nothing in comparison with one of my favorite egomaniacs from history, Ramesses II. Talk about EGO! The man not only had huge statues built of himself throughout Egypt, but he also stole the statues his father had made, and then had them renamed with his name on them!

I have no ego problem. Not compared to this guy! 

So as I continue writing about my Zombie in the newest book, I'll leave you some of the images of my favorite egomaniac from the few times I've been to Egypt.

Pumping Iron

Wrong kind of iron. . . .
(I blame Wikipedia for this!)

Yesterday, as I was catching up from a weekend that can be best called "busy," I was asked by one of the fantastic barristas at my local coffee shop about low meat or meatless meals which can help her get more iron into her diet. Thinking about it, I realized I had a few ideas, but needed more information. So when in doubt, go attack the local library!

Eggplant!

"Fear me! No, fear me! Quit laughing! I hate you all!"

No, this isn't a fond remembrance of the classic NES game Kid Icarus, this is a discussion on a vastly under appreciated veggie that's been pushed onto us by many overanxious cooks who had no idea how to properly cook this interesting plant. It's purple exterior taunts many nightmares of school aged children who can't understand why something that color doesn't taste more like grapes, and adults who look on eggplant with fuzzy memories from childhood of this strange plant.

In the words of many of us who played Kid Icarus and were cursed by the Eggplant Wizard right before the end of the game, "what do you mean we have to go back to the beginning of the game to get cured?!"

Catch up part two of "Planet of the Pulled Pork Recipes"

Or you can eat your sandwich while sitting on the Thames,
making all the tourists jealous in London.  

Well if you didn't catch the previous post, this was supposed to be Wens post, which has now been edited to give you the only thing any of us need: more pork tastiness!

Catch up-part one of "Planet of the Pulled Pork Recipes"

"What do you mean the auto scheduler didn't upload the posts?!"

Alright, so I've been busy, which happens, but it is frustrating when you auto-set technology to post something on a particular date and it doesn't do it.

Damn you technology! You destroyed us all!

Labor Day weekend = new season of Dr. Who and slow cooked pulled pork!

This weekend I am channeling my inner geek as the rainy remnants of Hurricane Irene have made their way north to parched Indiana. In preparation for this fantastic weekend (well now that I'm free again from a wide variety of responsibilities for the week), I made myself some slow cooked pulled pork in my slow cooker as I prepare for the new season of Dr. Who on BBCA. If you don't know what Dr. Who is, I'm sorry that you were so neglected in your childhood and you can find all the modern seasons on Netflicks.

WATCH THEM!!!!

Hummus and Jack.

Who says I never take you to interesting places? Well in this instance this photo was taken in Cardiff back in 2008 as I was knocking around Europe for a bit. And right now I can imagine many Dr. Who/Torchwood fans squee-ing realizing where I might have been.

Gencon! (a double recipe day with soup and croutons!)

The kilt is strong in this one. . .

I'm back from one of the most exhausting weeks of gaming I do all year, Gencon. For those of you in the reading audience who don't know what Gencon is, this is the largest roleplaying conference in the United States held in Indianapolis during August. During this time, gamers of all stripes come together to enjoy four days of new games, ideas, visiting friends, family, and everything else you can imagine. For the last several years, I have been a gamemaster for my favorite living campaign setting, Legend of the Shining Jewel, meeting new friends left and right as I run various games with new groups of players.

Salsa!!!!!!!

Does it look like I'm going to dance?
I'm eating one of the best burgers in the world
on the border of Portugal and Spain right now!!!!

No, I don't dance, I am prohibited from dancing according to the international community because it would be a sin against nature. With that said, I do love a FANTASTIC salsa, which is very easy to make if you have a little bit of time and gumption to play with a sharp knife. The best part is you can use ANYTHING in the summer to make salsa, although I am a fan of a pepper/tomato based salsa personally.

Cold Blooded

Oh, Egypt, I'm so much warmer there! 

Yes, I am a cold blooded creature, I love my hot summer days around the world. Snow is a plague upon mankind and I can't wait until it's warm again to run outside like a maniac. So when I get days like this when I'm shivering outside of the coffee shop, wearing a sweatshirt, and realizing it's in the upper seventies, I'm cranky.

Well it doesn't hurt I'm only 2/3rds the man I used to be after my first Camino.

Never-ever trap the Doctor. . .

A cove I swam in when in Turkey.

. . .it always ends poorly. The same can be said of me, even if my being trapped was caused by my classic car (aka, the 93' Olds) decided to lose it's muffler leaving Indianapolis on Monday due to unforeseen circumstances (not wanting to crash said piece of steel with wheels into the rear-end of an idiot who pulled out about twenty feet in front of me while I was going the limit of sixty MPG-100kph for the rest of the world that uses decent units of measurement). So needless to say my GRAND plan of three posts this week got scaled back to the two this week.

And one last Hoozah.

Expressing emotions doesn't come easy to me. I've lived one of those lives where you are taught not to be sad or fearful about death, but to celebrate living life to it's fullest. It doesn't mean that I (and several thousand of his old students) don't miss the Old Man, but Gordy would have been pissed if we don't get to living life to its fullest. With that said, I'll leave us with two things today: the speech I gave at his memorial service, and a tidbit of knowledge that I've learned down the years.

Beverages of Choice

Let's face it, the Old Man and his best friend (Alan who also passed away at the end of last year) were fantastically horrible influences as far as most professional bureaucrats and officials are concerned. Gordy did the single most dangerous thing that any educator could do: he taught his students to think for themselves. In that regard he was also interested in educating his students to have a great time while learning about different cultures overseas, realizing that humanity has far more in common with each other than differences.

With that said, the man was also a fan of a good stiff drink now and again, and his preferred adult beverage of choice was a good gin and tonic. This recipe was taught to me on my first trip to Egypt with both Gordy and Alan, and became a staple of success for every successful visit overseas.

Gin and Tonic (for the grown-ups in the crowd!)

Tools:
A liver to abuse.
A highball glass of choice.
An old school river cruise ship floating down the Nile.

Ingredients:
2 parts gin
3 parts tonic
1 ice cube per part gin.
A thick slice of lime.

As you can see the drink itself is highly malleable depending on the size of the glass you can get a hold of, but the basic principles remain the same. Add together, stir lightly with a finger, suck finger dry, and drink while floating down the Nile on a eighty year old cruise ship.

Bien Camino!

Fondest Memories

In the last ten days I have lost one of my fondest mentors, Dr Gordon Young, professor emeritus of history from Purdue University. Gordy began as my teacher back in my undergraduate days, but took on a more important role in my life as I grew as an academic: becoming both a mentor, but more importantly, one of my best friends. He dragged me to and from Egypt multiple times, and honored me on his last trip overseas by making me the Assistant Leader for that trip. I, and tens of thousands, of former students are saddened by the loss of this great man to brought us into his family.

Classic me!

Turkey. The food. The people. The culture. The fact I hadn't gotten my stomach of iron yet!

Seriously, I did have a lot of fun when I was in Turkey more than a decade ago, and I learned a lot from my first international travels. These are images of Roman castle's scaled while I was a budding archaeologist. You can even date the photos by the fact that they aren't digital and they have those silly dates added to the bottom of the photo. Oh, I dated myself. . .I need to drink a few more gallons of coffee to wash my sadness away. 

Really, no sleeves? <head-desk>

 

My mother would kill me if she saw the cliff behind me.

 Bien Camino!